


A Person's Body is Their Own

by Fictionista654



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Attempted Sexual Assault, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, abused arthur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 04:46:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18909853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fictionista654/pseuds/Fictionista654
Summary: When Agravaine comes to court, Arthur changes, and Merlin doesn't know how to help him.





	A Person's Body is Their Own

Because Merlin knew Arthur best, he realized first. It was the way Arthur didn’t smile, not once, not the whole time Agravaine stood before the throne, smiling that tiny, self-satisfied smile, and looking at Arthur through the corner of his eye. It was the way Arthur looked at the wall opposite when Agravaine clapped his back, as if he were yearning for a way out. 

“Were you all right in there?” Merlin said when they exited the throne room, and Arthur scoffed.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Merlin. I’m fine. Fetch me wine from the kitchens, would you?”

Merlin hesitated, but with Arthur already striding down the corridor, there wasn’t much he could do.

When he brought the wine to Arthur’s chambers, the prince was sitting at his desk, scribbling on a sheaf of parchment. “That will be all,” he said when Merlin poured him a goblet.

“Sire?”

“I said, that will be all.” Arthur’s tone was cold and clipped. He didn’t look up from his task, but when Merlin glanced over Arthur’s shoulder, all he saw was chicken-scratch nonsense. 

“I’m worried about Arthur,” Merlin told Gaius over potato-and-leek stew. Gaius tutted.

“What is this time?”

“I’m not sure,” Merlin admitted. “I think it has something to do with Agravaine.”

“Lord Agravaine?” said Gaius, his eyebrow raising.

“I know it sounds stupid, but I think Arthur’s afraid of him,” Merlin said apologetically. They both knew how rare it was for a single man to frighten Arthur. “Has Agravaine ever been to court before?”

“Once,” Gaius said. “Twelve years ago, when Arthur was ten.” He furrowed his brow. “That’s odd.”

“What’s odd?” said Merlin, leaning forward. 

“When Arthur was ten, he took ill for some time. If I remember correctly, he complained of a pain in his stomach.”

“Was this before or after Agravaine?” 

“After,” said Gaius. “Agravaine came in the winter, and Arthur took ill in the spring.”

“There’s a connection,” Merlin said. “I’m sure of it, Gaius.” 

Gaius sighed. “As am I, I’m afraid.”

That night at dinner, Agravaine was seated next to Arthur. Merlin, standing at attention with his pitcher of wine, kept his eyes trained on them. Whenever Agravaine reached for something, Arthur flinched. Merlin found it hard to swallow around the clot of fear in his own throat. 

“One day Arthur will be king himself,” Uther was saying. “He will need men like you by his side.”

“I am honored to hear that, Your Majesty.” Agravaine’s right arm moved subtly, and Merlin realized he was stroking Arthur’s thigh beneath the table. Arthur’s fork shook in his hand, and he put it down on his plate. Revulsion churned in Merlin’s chest; he thought he might choke on his anger.

“More wine, Sire?” said Merlin, stepping forward. For a split-second, Arthur’s eyes met Merlin’s. They were the eyes of a man trapped. Merlin didn’t have to think; he feigned tripping on the leg of Agravaine’s chair, pouring wine all over his cloak and armor. 

“You bloody fool!” Agravaine sputtered, snatching back his hand. “What have you done!”

“Arthur,” snapped Uther. “Control your manservant.”

“Are all your servants so clumsy?” said Agravaine, wiping his mail with the end of a napkin.

“That’s just Merlin’s natural charm,” said Arthur, with none of his usual good humor. “If you’ll excuse me, Father, Morgana. Uncle. I must be up early to train with the knights tomorrow.”

“Of course,” said Agravaine, his eyes glittering. “The morning, then.”

“Goodnight, Arthur,” said Morgana, her eyes troubled. She looked questioningly at Merlin, who shook his head. Now wasn’t the time to involve her.

Arthur was silent the whole way to his chambers. He didn’t acknowledge any of the people they passed. He didn’t speak until Merlin went to drag the tub out of the corner.

“I won’t be needing a bath tonight. In fact, you can go. Have a night off.” Arthur spoke tonelessly, and it chilled Merlin.

“But Agravaine—”

“But nothing, Merlin.”

“Arthur—”

“I told you to go.” Arthur’s back was stooped, and he was bracing himself on the back of his desk chair as if he were a man thrice his age. Merlin drew breath to protest again, but closed his mouth at Arthur’s glare. “Good night, Merlin.”

“Good night, Arthur.”

Merlin got halfway to Gaius’s chambers when Agravaine passed him, clearly coming from the banquet hall. To Merlin’s horror, Agravaine was walking the way Merlin had come. He didn’t appear to remember Merlin; he wasn’t the kind of man to pay attention to servants. But he’d notice if Merlin followed him. “ _Bedígle_ ,” Merlin hissed. A skitter of magic ran over his skin but quickly dissipated. “ _Bedígle! _”__

__Nothing. Merlin forced his breaths to even out. He wouldn’t be able to help Arthur if Agravaine had him thrown into the dungeons for lurking. _For Arthur._ “ _Bedígle!_ ” This time, the spell caught, sinking into Merlin’s skin and making him nothing but a shadow to those without magic. He ran the rest of the way, careful to stick to the actual shadows, where the spell worked the best. When Merlin arrived, Agravaine was just entering Arthur’s chambers. With an extra burst of speed, Merlin skidded between the guards outside the door and through the narrowing opening. He just managed not to run into Agravaine, but barely._ _

__Arthur was standing where Merlin had left him. He didn’t look up when Agravaine entered. “Uncle,” he said, his voice tired._ _

__Agravaine crossed the room in a few strides and stroked Arthur’s cheek with a finger. When Arthur looked away, Agravaine gripped his chin and forced Arthur to face him. “You’ve grown so lovely with age,” Agravaine said. Merlin shuddered. Hatred, pure hatred, exploded from his heart._ _

__Merlin stepped into the candlelight, casting away his spell. “Get away from him.”_ _

__Agravaine jumped away from Arthur, drawing his sword. “Where the hell did you come from?”_ _

__“You disgust me,” said Merlin, determinedly keeping his eyes away from Arthur’s. He didn’t want to see Arthur’s expression when he did what he had to do. “You’re not fit to be the dirt beneath Arthur’s feet.”_ _

__“We were just talking,” Agravaine said, though his sword was still drawn. “Weren’t we, Arthur?”_ _

__“Didn’t I give you the evening off?” Arthur said quietly. “You should go.”_ _

__“You can’t be serious,” said Merlin._ _

__“Please,” Arthur begged, and Merlin realized how afraid Arthur was. How deeply Agravaine had hurt him. His heart was suddenly too heavy to bear. Agravaine took advantage of Merlin’s distraction to lunge at him with his sword; Merlin threw himself to the ground, just managing to roll out of the way of Agravaine’s second strike. He snatched Agravaine’s ankle and tugged, nearly bringing him down. Agravaine regained his footing and kicked Merlin in the head, hard enough to send light-bursts through the dim room. Merlin groaned, trying to push himself to his feet. Agravaine kicked him again, his cheekbone this time, and yanked him halfway up by his hair._ _

__“I should kill you,” Agravaine said furiously. “You impertinent, insolent imbecile.” He slammed Merlin’s head into the ground and raised his sword again. Merlin hoped Arthur knew how sorry he— _CLANG_! Dazed from the blows to his head, Merlin wondered where the sword beneath Agravaine’s had come from. Slowly, he followed its body to a jeweled hilt, from the hilt to the hand holding it, from the hand up the chain mail-clad arm, from the arm to the shoulder to Arthur’s determined face. Scowling from the effort, Arthur forced up Agravaine’s sword. Merlin scrambled to his feet._ _

__“Don’t touch him.”_ _

__“Or what?” said Agravaine. “Be reasonable Arthur. Put down your sword.” His eyes darted to the door—listening for the guards. Arthur noticed, too, and shook his head._ _

__“They won’t come. They never do.” He swung his sword up and around, gripping it more tightly. Perspiration dotted Agravaine’s forehead; he knew very well who the better fighter was. They circled each other warily. The first clash of metal made Merlin recoil, his head throbbing. The fight was brutal, efficient. In less than a minute, Arthur had Agravaine pinned to the floor, his sword to the other man’s neck. Merlin wondered what was going on in Arthur’s head as he stared impassively at this monster from his childhood._ _

__“You don’t want to do this,” Agravaine panted. “Would you kill your mother’s only brother?”_ _

__Merlin stepped forward, just enough so Arthur would sense his presence. Would know he was not alone. Agravaine continued to splutter from his spot on the floor, until Arthur pressed the sword hard enough to draw blood._ _

__“A person’s body is their own,” Arthur whispered. He shifted his sword to both hands, angling for a killing blow. Agravaine jolted, once, when the blade went through his neck, and then he was still. For a long moment, Arthur stood frozen over the corpse. Suddenly, he lurched toward the window and vomited down the side of the castle. Merlin stood uncertainly, not sure how to help._ _

__“Arthur?” he said, when Arthur staggered back from the window, wiping off his mouth._ _

__“You were supposed to take the evening off.”_ _

__“I—I’m sorry. I couldn’t leave you with him.”_ _

__Arthur looked at him, his face half in shadow. “What do we do with the body?”_ _

__“We can say he attacked you.”_ _

__Arthur shook his head and pressed his hand to his mouth. It was shaking. “No, no one would believe that. We’ll have to bring the body somewhere else.”_ _

__“Arthur,” Merlin said softly._ _

__“We’ll have to bring him somewhere else,” Arthur repeated, beginning to pace. “The woods—we could say bandits? Or we could toss him down the stairs, but the wound on his neck—”_ _

__“Arthur.”_ _

__“Merlin, _think_ for once in your life! No one will believe that he attacked me; I’m his _nephew_ , why would he…why would he…”_ _

__“I don’t know,” Merlin said, knowing they weren’t talking about the body anymore. “I wish I did. I’m sorry, Arthur.”_ _

__Arthur sat at the end of his bed and dropped his head in his hands. “Why did he hurt me?”_ _

__Merlin could hear that scared ten-year-old in Arthur’s voice, and his body clenched with anger and regret. How dare Agravaine do that to a child? Merlin yearned to go back in time, to save Arthur from that monstrous man. But the past was the past, and he was here now._ _

__“I’m sorry,” said Merlin. “I’m so sorry.” Tentatively, he put his hand on Arthur’s back. To his surprise, Arthur leaned into the touch, resting his head against Merlin’s chest._ _

__“We’ll say he wanted the throne,” Arthur said after a few minutes. “With me gone, there wouldn’t be any blood Pendragons left. The throne would go to Morgana first, and then to him. We can say he had a plan to kill Morgana, as well.”_ _

__“It’s a good plan, Arthur.”_ _

__Arthur nodded, and Merlin could see him draw the mask back onto his face. His eyes shuttered, his mouth thinned. He rose heavily, taking the position from where he had dealt the killing blow. “I’m going to call for the guards,” he said. “Whatever you did to sneak in here, I want you to do it again. You can’t be implicated in this.”_ _

__“I don’t understand.”_ _

__“Oh, for Heaven’s sake, Merlin,” said Arthur, the tiniest smile on his lips. “Whatever spell you did, do it again.” He raised his hand when Merlin tried to speak. “Go to the part of the forest by the East Gate, and wait for me. I’ll come as soon as I’m able.”_ _

__“All right,” Merlin said, licking his dry lips. “I’ll just—right. _Bedígle_!” The spell caught on the first try this time. “I’ll see you soon.”_ _

__“Soon,” Arthur agreed. He looked down at Agravaine and took a breath. “GUARDS!”_ _

__***_ _

__It was dawn by the time Arthur came. Merlin, who was sleeping against a tree, jolted awake at the sound of a twig snapping. When he saw it was Arthur, haggard and blood-stained, but still Arthur, he sagged with relief._ _

__“You’re all right.”_ _

__“Of course I’m all right, Merlin. I’m actually a good liar, unlike you.” He sat next to Merlin with a sigh. “How you thought you were keeping it a secret—”_ _

__“Arthur—”_ _

__“—so obvious, it was ridiculous—“_ _

__“Arthur, you’re—”_ _

__“—I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone stupider—”_ _

__“Arthur! You’re crying!”_ _

__Arthur put his hands to his cheeks. “So I am.” He sounded amazed, and it occurred to Merlin that he had never seen Arthur cry before._ _

__“I know I already said this, but Arthur, I’m so, so sorry. I wish I had been your friend when we were children. I wish I could have—I hate that you were so alone.” Merlin’s voice shook with everything he didn’t know how to say._ _

__“He’s dead now,” Arthur said, with some satisfaction. Then a wave of pain crossed his face. “Oh, God, is he really dead, Merlin? He’s really gone?”_ _

__“I promise,” Merlin said. Arthur nodded and fell back against the tree, resting his head on Merlin’s shoulder. They stayed like that for a long time._ _


End file.
